Two years ago, I shared a post on Twitter in which U.S. Rep. Ruben Gallego (D-Ariz.) was asked how Democrats could improve their standing among Latino voters in the Southwest.
His answer surprised many progressives: “Start by not using the term Latinx.”
A curious friend wanted to know more, after learning that Latin was the new “correct” term. But is this word — designed to transcend the gendered nature of the Latino masculine and Latino feminine — the right word even if powerful progressives don’t always use it? How do we communicate with people without constantly tripping over language changes, or inevitably saying the wrong thing?
For many Americans, the increasing emphasis on avoiding “microaggressions,” as taught in diversity and inclusion workshops, leaves us walking on eggshells for fear of causing unnecessary offense.
At one seminar, I learned that not making eye contact can be considered offensive, and it certainly doesn’t help the socially awkward among us feel nervous when approaching people.
I’m here to show that behind the jargon and sometimes questionable examples, there’s something really worth talking about, and it goes beyond politics and—surprisingly—beyond the words themselves. I recently led a panel discussion for the Midland County Coalition for Inclusion that featured three community voices, and in this article I’d like to share some highlights from our conversation.
But first: what exactly are microaggressions? Definitionally, they are the ways in which we belittle or invalidate people or “others,” usually unintentionally. We might ask someone who appears to be Hispanic, for example, “You say you’re from Michigan, but where are you *originally* from?” However, have we taken into account that their families may have lived here for generations, and that they may not consider themselves anything but a Michigander? Over time, these questions can diminish one’s sense of belonging.
As another example, we might say to someone, “Your 5K took an impressive time – you don’t look like a runner!” Are there some pre-qualification boxes in mind that need to be checked, other than the fact that they just completed the race? Underlying this microaggression is something very simple: a gap between our perception of someone and their actual reality, a gap that socially reinforces the distance between us and them. We all hold certain expectations from others – based on our personal life experiences – and we usually don’t realize it.
To bridge this gap between us, rather than deepen it, we should ask curious questions that leave our assumptions behind. Instead of basing my questions on someone’s skin color, I can ask, “Have you lived in Michigan your whole life? You’ve only been here a decade.” Instead of coming forward with my expectations of what a runner looks like, I can just say, “Great race time! Great race time!” How did you train?” When we remove stereotypes, these questions become more productive and interesting, too!
For some Midlanders, the importance of inclusive language is felt regularly. Bart Maxson is a retired Dow scientist, a 4’6” tall dwarf with achondroplasia, who helps students and adults unlearn the stereotypes he encounters. While interviewing for jobs in the 1980s, he was told he would never work in a laboratory. “One company owner said, ‘Go back and get a degree in word processing,’” Maxon said. “There are no questions about my abilities.” His nearly 27-year career as a Dow Jones researcher has refuted these assumptions.
Not every place welcomes him. “When you go into stores, you can see video cameras. You can get the language, and people blur it out.” Through language, he refers to terms like “troll,” an insult reminiscent of circus sideshows. He says the derogatory comments made by adults are very different from the questions kids ask, and he encourages curiosity as a gateway to learning. “It’s okay to ask questions. I would rather have someone come up and ask me about my dwarfism, and for the parent to use that as a teaching moment, rather than try to turn the child away.
The most valuable thing when meeting new people is increasing the space for them to define and express themselves, rather than leading with our own understanding of the world so far and how they might fit into it. Now, what about those of us who receive these insults? How do we respond?
While malicious slurs should be eliminated, unintended harm that arises from someone’s limited life experience is best addressed through “calling out,” a term popularized by educator Loretta Ross. Taking a deep breath and just asking, “Tell me more about what you mean by that” can create opportunities to really learn from each other. Helping broaden perspectives requires grace.
Kip Gilbert, a 17-year-old transgender student at Dow High School who holds several leadership positions, is no stranger to inaccurate language about gender thrown his way. But he leans toward advocacy principles: “In general I find that people don’t want to cause harm. I strongly believe that we’re all good people and want to do good things, so when you can explain how the terms can be hurtful, I feel like people are usually quite receptive.” .
Smallwood Holloman, a chemist and retiree from Dow, has also found it beneficial in his life and career to meet others where they are. He was recruited by Midland from Virginia in 1975, and as a black scholar, he caught the attention of many on his first day. One colleague refused to say hello, but after Holloman learned his name and used it in his greeting the next day, the man responded in kind. The next meeting, the colleague struck up the conversation, and the friendship grew from there.
“Some people don’t feel comfortable,” Holloman said. “They may not have a malicious bone in their body, but if something from another environment enters their space, they feel uncomfortable. It is our responsibility to control the conversation and even control the mood. And if we make the mistake of teaching that people are not malicious, we can educate where We found that opportunity.
Notice the theme of connecting with each other beyond jargon, focusing on respect and kindness and allowing conversations to develop. Social media may flood us with the right and wrong words to use at any given moment, but the pressure of overthinking can undermine the honest openness we all need to grow. “You don’t need some Google attachment telling you every new word that occurs,” Gilbert noted. “It’s just about admitting to yourself that you don’t know everything, and that’s okay.”
“I don’t know if you necessarily have to keep up with the language if you’re comfortable approaching and asking the question respectfully,” agrees Maxon. Words absolutely matter — they can marginalize us just as much as they bring us closer to them — but valuing words has very little meaning until we first understand the complex and fascinating human beings behind them. Everything in this piece boils down to being able to see each other more clearly and courageously: the exact opposite of walking on eggshells.
So what is the “correct” term? Is it latin, latin, latin, latin? Maybe we think too much about the word and not about where the meaning is infused into it. Behind every label there is a person, and I encourage us to first get to know that person better. Once we understand *why* they use the language they do, we might see that it’s not that different from the way we use our own self-descriptions. “Calling each other out” in this way helps us recognize our common humanity and see that in the grand scheme of this world, our differences may not be so great.
Just take writer Angel Eduardo’s advice: “When people ask where you’re *actually* from, tell them: a 13.7 billion-year-old explosion.”
Michael Vagnini is a Midland resident for 10 years and works at DuPont R&D and volunteers with the Midland County Coalition for Inclusion, focusing on educational programs and building bridges initiatives.
Using inclusive language is crucial for creating an environment where everyone feels valued and respected. By using language that is inclusive of all individuals regardless of their race, gender, orientation, or ability, we can ensure that we are not contributing to systemic discrimination or exclusion. Inclusive language helps to promote a sense of belonging and acceptance, as well as fostering a more diverse and equitable society. It is important to be mindful of the words we use and the impact they have on others, and to strive for inclusivity in our communication.