We all want to look confident, right? It inspires people to follow our lead, feel comfortable around us, and even be attracted to us (depending on the situation, of course!)
You’ve probably read about some of the more obvious body language tips, so here are some you might not know about.
1) Balanced hold with your hands
So this one is a little more obvious than the rest, but it’s really important, and it’s a good place to start.
But what do I mean? So, for example, when you’re sitting in a group, lean your torso back a little bit and put your hands quietly on your lap, or maybe put them on your lap – something like that – but more relaxed.
You can also face your palms down this way. This gesture is less open and welcoming but also shows confidence.
I recommend avoiding the plaid hand gesture, as it reminds me of Mr. Burns from The Simpsons, or some other crafty character.
The opposite of sedentary stability is sitting still and clinging to your chair, playing with your hair, or biting your nails. Neurodivergent people like me may find this difficult since nail biting and hair fidgeting are “stimulating” behaviors that can be soothing.
This is where finding a comfortable position such as hand nesting can come in handy.
2) Hands on hips
While we’re talking about hands, what about the “hands akimbo” pose? This pose can inspire confidence – you are ready for action! But it can also display a kind of confrontational dominance. Think of an angry cat trying to make itself look too big with its fur up and its back arched up.
So it really depends on what kind of situation you’re in and what kind of confidence you need.
Do you deal with people who try to undermine you or talk down to you? Place your hands on your hips, perhaps making fists as the image linked above shows.
Are you trying to look confident in a group job interview assignment? Best avoided unless it is a role in which dominant confidence is valued.
3) Graceful fluid gestures
When you are not trying to show dominance, these types of movements, at a comfortable pace, will reflect inner confidence.
Let your gestures unfold more slowly and fluidly rather than quickly and jerky. If you need help with this, take 1-3 slow, calm breaths in and out. You may then imagine yourself as a swan or a graceful dancer.
My personal favorite is pretending to be a geisha at a tea party, where every movement is graceful, delicate and deliberate. Your mileage may vary though!
4) Tilt your head from time to time to expose your neck
An occasional tilt of the head, especially when listening, is a good way to connect with someone. This is because it shows that you are interested and involved. And trust.
But the reason may surprise you. Studies show that this is actually a sign of submission, similar to the way dogs stick their necks out in a submission gesture.
It’s a bit like showing your weakness to a vampire!
So on the one hand, it shows that you’re not afraid of it “biting” you. But on the other hand, if this is done too often, it may indicate a lack of confidence through excessive submission.
Again, context is key. In playful situations, when done occasionally, it will add to your natural confident look. But in high-power situations like work or negotiations, it may be better to keep your head more still.
5) Eyes and where to look
Again, the question of where to rest your eyes lies in the situation you are in.
I have a friend who found that people were interpreting her the wrong way and seeing her as a flirt because of the way she looked at people when they were talking. Yes, I know this sounds a little crazy but it’s true.
If you want to flirt with your eyes (or seem confident enough to flirt) try looking into one eye, then the other, all the way to the lips and back to the eyes. This can have a really interesting effect. Tell a friend you trust and practice the timing, you will be surprised and entertained!
But if you want to avoid that and be practical, looking directly at and/or between the eyes is the best way to go.
6) Briefly meet strangers’ eyes with a soft half-smile
Body language expert Amy Cuddy talks about power poses and how they can make you feel more confident. How smiling releases endorphins that make you feel happy and confident.
But what about more nuances? Soft half smile. For this, I advise you to practice in front of a mirror. You’ll notice that you can smile softly in a way that doesn’t actually look like a big smile. Instead, it softens your facial expressions and makes you appear calm and non-threatening.
I try to use this photo when taking passport photos, since you’re not allowed to smile anymore. I don’t want to break the rules but I don’t want to get a selfie either!
You can also take it a little further and see if you can create a Mona Lisa smile – a smile that is both interesting and a bit mysterious.
Whether the smiles are big or small, a touch of soothing friendliness signals inner security.
7) Laugh!
You may think that laughter is not a body language signal, and in a way, you are right. Because it is a set of gestures. Think about how your whole body moves when you laugh.
The point is that a person who laughs generally appears relaxed, welcoming, and confident.
This can apply in many situations, but it’s good to think about it now, when you make a mistake and feel embarrassed.
By openly laughing at yourself instead of looking confused and red-faced, it shows that you don’t hesitate to find the humor in your mistakes. This shows natural confidence.
Laughter is great for all kinds of situations! At a party, if someone makes a clever joke or witty comment, laugh heartily in appreciation. This shows that you don’t feel competitive and can freely enjoy other people’s sense of humor without jealousy or shame.
Finally, laughing while telling a story about yourself shows confidence. “I don’t take myself too seriously and I’m comfortable sharing this thing that happened to me,” she says. It attracts people and makes you seem genuine and friendly.
The thread that ties these examples together is that genuine laughter indicates that you are comfortable and not threatened by your surroundings or those around you. This self-confidence inspires confidence and trust in others.
Confidence is a highly valuable trait, and one of the key ways to exude confidence is through body language. By making small changes to our nonverbal cues, we can significantly alter the way others perceive us. Understanding and implementing the right body language habits can make us appear naturally confident and commanding. In this article, we will explore seven body language habits that can help you exude confidence in any situation. Whether it’s in a professional setting, social gathering, or personal interaction, mastering these habits can make a profound impact on the way you are perceived by others.